Do not only “kill” your darlings, rape, butch and set them on fire too
and with that title, I’m saying that I think I have to sacrifice all these side-projects in order to fully achieve my goal to be a skilled concept artist within 4 months (YES 4 MONTHS, that’s all I’ve got more or less).
the tutorials will be delayed, very delayed. But yeah… sometimes you really have to choose between your future career or what you find fun to do at the moment.
Let me tell you a story
One time 3 years ago, in a snowy Stockholm, I was walking on a couple of abandoned rails together with my three friends. I’ll keep their real names anonymous just in case. Since this is a true story.
We were heading for a rave, my very first rave-party! You could guess I was excited, I have always loved hardstyle music and a intense beat.
It was very dark, since it was winter back then and winter in sweden is usually very dark as well. And as we walked further and further along the railway, walls of rock appeared on each side of us. Even if I was outside, I sort of felt like these gigantic walls of stone tried to capture us.
Here and there you could see branches of tree pop out from the snow, it reminded me of the movie Snow White when she’s running through the dark forest.
We stopped at the entrance of a tunnel, it was so quiet, where was the music?
I listened a little more and could sense a small bass through the ground.
At the entrance were two guys, we paid them to get a ticket in. There was no closet to hang our stuff - and I was stupid enough to bring my computer with me. But Oscar told me we could put our stuff on the ground and dance around it if we want to make sure no one would steal anything.
It sounded fair to me, and so we entered the tunnel.
The tunnel was big, very big, since it belonged to a closed metro that was no longer in use.
It was pitch black - no trace of light whatsoever - and we walked past a diesel-generator (used to provide electricity for the party). The intense smell of benzine hit my nostrils, though it was cool and airy in the tunnel. So the smell quickly disappeared.
I wasn’t sober, I had a bottle of alcohol in my pocket that I shared with my friends. However, this environment we entered fascinated me to a level that I kept myself pretty alert.
And then, after walking a long way, we could hear the sound.
BMM BMM BMM BMM…
And as metaphoric as it sounds, I could now see a light at the end of the tunnel.
The light started to flicker in different rhythms, it switched between green, blue and red. The music echoed through the tunnel and provided even better sound together with the large speakers. When we arrived at the source of the music, we barely couldn’t see the DJ’s because of the crowd, but that might also be because I am a pretty short girl to begin with.
A green light of laser hit my eyes, and the thought hit me that I should avoid looking at it - no matter how cool it looked. I’ve heard that looking at laser can damage your eyes if the light is too intense, and I didn’t wanna take any risks on my very first rave.
The people there was very cool, rave-clothes are always a fashion I will love. The UV-light made people white clothes glow in the dark, some wore makeup that also glowed.
We started to dance, just like everybody else, and kept us to ourselves with out bags in safe. I quickly learned how to dance to the music, there’s many kinds of dances to techno and hardstyle - shuffle and jumpstyle is very fun and cool to watch - but many people just dance whatever they feel like.
I started to build up my own ecstasy as I danced - the human body is capable to do this without the help of drugs, all you need is an intense rhythm and the ability to forget the world around you and just focus on the rhythm. I could really feel my heart beat along with the music, the music was really good as well. There was this random guy who walked around and gave people CD’s for free. Najda got one, there was nothing special written on the cover, so we had no idea of what the content could be. For the rest of the time we all danced along with the intense UNTZ UNTZ UNTZ UNTZ UNTZ…
Suddenly, I saw Najda fall to the ground, with eyes dead blank. My first thought that hit me was “Oh shit, she’s having a seizure?!”
She had just passed out, or at least she couldn’t stand up. She tried to stand up but her legs was like spaghetti. We carried her out from the tunnel.
If you haven’t carried a body of a person before, then I can tell you - we humans weight a lot, somehow we weight even morewhen we are unconscious and the body is relaxed.
We went past the generator again, Oscar looked at it with a worried look, and out of the tunnel. Najda already felt better when she got a grasp of fresh air. She sat there in the snow, a random guy who saw us gave her a bag of chips so she got something to eat.
One thing that’s interesting with rave - compared to regular clubs - is that people are not as drunk or annoying, sure there’s people who take their happy-pills, but most of them take them while being sober - because alcohol can give a verynegative (and more dangerous) effect of pills.
However, being high or not, people are actually pretty friendly and nice at a rave - or at least on those raves I’ve been to.
When Najda felt better, we decided to leave, we had only been there for 2 hours but we felt pretty unmotivated now. As we was heading back to city we all felt a bit depressed, we talked and ranted about problems we had, about people we had problems with, and so on.
We stopped at McDonald’s (Or was it MAX? Don’t quite remember) to get something to eat. It was there we discovered how we looked. When we looked in the mirror, our faces was all dirty and all black around our nostrils.
That was a pretty dirty rave, I must say.
To make a long story short - we all went home to our places to sleep - around 4 am. I slept at Najda’s place, though we never really got any sleep because we stayed up all morning talking about stuff.
That morning, when eating breakfast, Najda and I decided to nottell our parents about what happened at the rave.
Just a moment after that, her mom rushes into the kitchen and said:
“Have you watched the news?”
We just sat there looking at her.
“There was a rave where people almost got gased to death! You weren’t at that rave?!”
“No, we left after like two hours.”
“The police was there, it was in a tunnel without permission! You better not go to parties like that again or else…!
“Don’t worry, we won’t.”
Apparently, what made Najda pass out at the rave was carbon monoxide gas from the generator in the tunnel. Carbon monoxide is a very dangerous gas, it doesn’t smell or is that visible. And if you are drunk - or high on pills - in a dark tunnel with intense music, it is impossible to notice the gas.
Even if the tunnel was very big, the gas from the generator quickly filled the whole tunnel. And since it was at winter, it was very cool and felt airy when we danced there - I never started to sweat while dancing.
The organizers overestimated the air in the tunnel and therefore placed the generator inside the tunnel instead of outside - a decision which gave them a lot of troubles in the end.
No one was seriously hurt by the gas - they evacuated the tunnel just right after we left since more and more people started to feel dizzy and pass out.
I know I’ve heard of Carbon Monoxide in school, but I think I never really understood how dangerous it can be - sometimes you have to experience the danger to actually learn.
However, even though we literally got gased in a tunnel, it was the most awesome experience I’ve ever had. For being my very first rave, it was not only a new experience but also a bit of a adventure.
I’ve continued going to rave-parties since then, and they have inspired me to make some of my personal favourites in my gallery.
Whenever I get the time on my hands, I will make a short comic based on this story.
ASK ME STUFF! :D I’ll record my answers with my VOICE!!
YES! I’m gonna do a voice meme, it seems pretty fun. Once I get enough questions, I’m gonna record myself answering them and then do a little animation in flash where I’ll lipsync my recording to a drawing of myself! (haven’t animated in flash for ages, so this is perfect!)
So go ahead.
ASK ME ANYTHING, I will answer it in my voice-meme later on. ?
Creating a New Blog?
I’m considering creating a second blog, which will be my personal blog involving everything except my art. I see a lot of funny things I wanna reblog, but tries to avoid since I know ppl are following me mostly because of my art-related posts. So I’ll probably create a new blog for my personal stuff, like reblogging lolcats and rants about life.
What do you think? Would you guys follow that blog aswell? :)